「聽＆讀」結局(2)
★ 第19章 ★
Meanwhile， Angel Clare returned to his hotel and sat for a while over breakfast， staring into space。
同時，安吉爾·克萊爾回到了他的旅館，整頓早餐他就坐在那兒，死死地盯著前方。
A note arrived from his mother， saying that his brother Cuthbert was going to marry Mercy Chant。
他的母親來了封簡訊，說他的哥哥卡斯伯特就要同默茜·錢特結婚了。
Clare threw away the paper。 At last， he got up， paid the bill， and went to the railway station But he could not sit patiently and wait for the next train， in an hour‘s time。
克萊爾把信扔掉了。最後他站了起來，付清了賬，走到了火車站。
He had nothing to wish for in life， and nobody to love He was in no hurry， but just wanted to get out of that town as soon as possible。
可是他無法耐心地坐在那裡等下一趟火車，那得花一個小時。他對生活已不抱任何希望，也沒有人可以愛了。他有充裕的時間，但只想儘快地離開這個城鎮。
So he started walking along the road out of town。 The road was open and dropped down to cross a valley。
於是他開始沿著出城的馬路走著。這條路很開闊，順著下來，橫穿過一座山谷。
When he was climbing the far side of the valley， he stopped for breath， and something made him turn round。
當他在山谷遠處的那頭爬行時，他停下來喘口氣，有什麼東西促使他轉過身去。
There was a small black figure in the distance-a human figure， running Clare waited。
遠處有個小小的黑影——是一個人的身影，正在跑著。克萊爾等待著。
It looked like a woman， but he never imagined that it could be his wife until she came close and he saw it was less。
像是一個女人，可是克萊爾一點都沒想到這可能是他的妻子。直到她走近了，他才認出來，那是苔絲。
’I saw you—turn on to the road from the station—and I‘ve been following you all this way！’ She was pale， breathless， and trembling。
“我看到你——轉身上了馬路——從火車站——我一直跟了你這麼遠！”她臉色蒼白，上氣不接下氣，還有些發抖。
He did not question her but took her arm and helped her along。 They took a footpath under some trees， to avoid being seen。
他沒有問什麼，挽著她的胳膊，扶著她一起走。他們挑了一條樹下的小路走，以免被人看見。
‘Angel，’ she said， ‘do you know why I’ve been running after you？ To tell you that I‘ve killed him！’ There was a pitiful smile on her white face as she spoke。
“安吉爾，”她說，“你知道我為什麼一直追趕著你嗎？我要告訴你，我殺死他了！”她說話時，蒼白的臉上漾出一絲令人憐憫的微笑。
‘What！’ he cried， thinking her mind was disturbed。
“什麼！”他尖叫道，認為她神志不清了。
‘I don’t know how I did it，‘ she said。 ’I had to do it， for you and me， Angel。
“我不知道我是怎麼做的，”她說，“我必須這麼做，安吉爾，為了你，也為了我。
I was afraid long ago when I hit him in the mouth with that heavy glove， that I might kill him one day。
很早以前，當我用那隻笨重的手套抽他的嘴巴時，我就怕有一天我也許會殺了他。
He has come between us and ruined our lives。 I never loved him at all， Angel。 You believe me， don‘t you？ Oh， why did you go away， when I loved you so much？
他插在我們中間，毀了我們的生活。我根本就不愛他，你相信我，是不是？哦，當初，我那麼愛你的時候，你為什麼離開我啊？
But I don’t blame you， Angel。 Only， will you forgive me now？ I could not bear losing you any longer， I had to kill him。 Say you love me now， say you do！‘
不過，我現在並不責怪你，安吉爾。我只是想問你，安吉爾，現在你會寬恕我嗎？我不能忍受再失去你，我不得不殺死他。現在，說你愛我吧，說你愛我！”
’Oh， I do love you， Tess， I do。 It has all come back！‘ he said， holding her tightly in his arms。 ’But what do you mean， you‘ve killed him？’
“啊，我是愛你的，苔絲，我確實愛你。一切都回來了！”他說著，把她緊緊地摟到懷裡。“可是，你的意思是，你殺死他了？”
‘He is dead。 He heard me crying about you， and he called you rude names。 I couldn’t bear it。 So I killed him。‘
“他死了。他聽見我在哭喊你，就粗魯地叫罵你的名字，我忍無可忍，於是殺了他。”
Eventually， Angel came to believe that she probably had killed d’Urberville。
終於，安吉爾漸漸相信她也許真地殺死了德伯。
He was amazed at the strength of her feeling and this， it seemed， had made her forget the difference between right and wrong。
他對她感情的力量感到驚愕，而這，似乎讓他忘記了是非的區別。
She did not seem to realize what she had done and laid her head on his shoulder， crying with happiness。
她像是根本沒有認識到自己做過了什麼，把她的頭埋在他的肩上，幸福地哭著。
He wondered if the bad blood of the d‘Urbervilles was to blame for this moment of madness。
他懷疑是否德伯家族的罪惡血統該為這一刻的瘋狂遭受譴責。
However， he knew he could not leave her now。 She expected him to protect her。
然而，他知道，現在他不能離開她，她期待著他來保護她。
And at last， Clare felt nothing but love for this passionate， loving wife of his。 He kissed her again and again and held her hand。
到最後，克萊爾除了對他熱情、忠誠的妻子滿懷愛意之外，已感覺不到其他了，他對她吻了又吻，抓起了她的手。
’I won‘t leave you！ I’ll protect you as well as I can， my dearest love， whatever you may or may not have done！‘
“我不會離開你的！我會盡我所能來保護你，最親愛的寶貝，無論你做過還是沒做過任何事情！”
They walked on， less turning her head occasionally to look at him。
他們繼續走著，苔絲不時地轉過頭看看他，
For her， he was still perfection， despite his thinness and pale face。 He was the one man who had loved her purely， and who believed in her as pure。
儘管他的臉龐瘦削蒼白，但對她而言，他仍是完美的。他是唯一一個不摻雜質地愛過她、並相信她的純潔的男人。
Their arms around each other’s waists， they walked through the woods on lonely footpaths， taking care not to meet anybody。
他們互相攬著對方的腰，在樹林中孤寂的小徑上穿行，小心翼翼地避開任何人。
They did not talk much， being content to be together at last。
他們談得不多，對於終於能夠團聚感到心滿意足。
‘Where shall we go？’ asked Tess。
“我們要去哪兒？”苔絲問道。
‘I don’t know。 Perhaps we could find a cottage to stay in tonight。 Can you walk a long way， Tessy？‘
“我不知道。也許我們能找到一間今晚住的小屋，苔絲，你能走遠路嗎？”
’Oh yes！ I could walk forever with your arm around me！‘ At midday， Angel went to a public house and brought food and wine back to where Tess was waiting in the woods for him。
“哦，我能！有你的手臂摟著我，我可以永遠地走下去！”到了中午時分，安吉爾到一個酒店買了此食物和酒回來，苔絲就在樹林裡等著他。
Her clothes were so fashionable that the country people would have noticed her。
她的衣服這麼時新，會引起鄉下人注意的。
’I think we should keep walking inland， away from the coasts， said Clare， as they finished eating。
“我認為我們應該繼續朝內地走，離開海岸。”當他們吃完東西時，克萊爾說道。
‘We can hide there for a while。 Later on， when they stop looking for us， we can go to a port and get right out of the country。’
“我們可以在那兒躲藏一段時間。之後，等他們停止搜尋我們的時候，我們可以到一個港口，徑直逃離這個國家。”
But their plans were vague。 They were like two children， who think only of the moment。
可是他們的打算是含糊的。他們就像兩個孩於，只考慮到眼前的情況。
The weather was warm and they enjoyed walking together。 However， in the afternoon they did not find any suitable cottages to stay in， and it was too cold to sleep outside。
天氣暖洋洋的，他們樂於一起走著。然而，到了下午，他們還沒找到一間可以住的房子，睡在外面又太冷了。
They had walked about fifteen miles when they passed a large empty house in the middle of the woods。
當他們大約走了十五英里時，他們在樹林中央經過了一幢空蕩蕩的大房子。
‘All those rooms empty！’ said Tess， ‘and we have no shelter！’
“所有的房間都是閒置著的！”苔絲說，“而我們連個可以遮蔽的地方都沒有！”
‘We can stay the night there，’ said Clare。 ‘Look， there’s a window open。 The caretaker probably airs the rooms in the daytime。 We can climb in。 Nobody will know。‘
“我們今晚可以待在這兒！”克萊爾說道。“看，那兒有個窗戶開著。看管人可能在白天讓房子通通風。我們可以爬進去，沒有人知道的。”
And so they did。 They chose a bedroom with heavy old-fashioned furniture and a huge old bed。
於是他們爬了進去。他們選擇的那間臥室擺放著式樣古老的傢俱和一張寬大的舊床。
They kept quiet while the caretaker came to shut the windows in the evening。 Then the house was theirs。
晚上，當看管人來關窗戶時，他們就保持安靜，沒有發出聲響。之後，這幢房子就屬於他們了。
They ate some of the food they had brought and went to bed in total darkness。
他們吃了一些帶來的食物之後，就在一團漆黑中上床睡覺了。
During the night she told him about his sleepwalking just after their wedding。
夜裡，她對他說了婚禮後他夢遊的事。
’You should have told me at the time！‘
“那個時候你就應該告訴我！”
’Don‘t think of the past！ Think of the present。 Tomorrow may mean the end of our happiness。’
“別想過去的事了，想想現在吧！明天也許就是我們幸福的終結。”
But when tomorrow came it was wet and foggy。 It seemed that the caretaker only came on fine days， so they were alone in the house。
可是第二天的天氣很潮溼，霧氣濛濛的。看來那個看管人只在天氣晴朗的日子才來，因此，他們單獨住在房子裡。
They had enough food and wine and stayed there for the next five days。 It was the honeymoon they had never had。
他們有足夠的食物和酒，接下來又住了五天。這段時間成了他們以前沒有享受過的蜜月。
They had no contact with people and only noticed changes in the weather。 Neither mentioned the depressing period from their wedding day to the present。
他們和外界沒有任何聯絡，能注意到的只是天氣的變化。他們誰也不提婚後到現在那一段憂鬱的日子。
They lived for the moment and were completely happy。 When Angel suggested leaving their shelter and traveling to a port like Southampton or London， Tess was unwilling。
他們為眼前活著，非常非常地幸福。安吉爾提議離開這個臨時的避難所，前往像南安普頓或倫敦這樣的港口城市，可苔絲不願意。
‘Why put an end to sweetness and happiness？ Outside， everything is confused and sad。 Here， we are quite content。
“為什麼要結束甜蜜和幸福？在外面，一切都是那麼混亂和悲傷。在這兒，我們十分滿足。”
Angel agreed。 Inside was forgiveness and love： outside was eventual punishment。
安吉爾同意了。裡面只有寬恕和愛情；而外面是最後的懲罰。
’And…‘ she said， putting her cheek against his， ’I want you to go on loving me。 I‘m afraid you might reject me one day for what I’ve done。
“還有……”她把她的臉頰貼著他的，說道，“我要你繼續愛我。我害怕有一天你會因為我所做的事拋棄我。
Then I would rather be dead。 I must have been made to kill him！ But I don‘t want to be alive when you reject me for it。’
那樣，我情願死去。我一定是瘋了，我把他殺死了！可是如果你因此拋棄我，那我也不想活了。”
They stayed for one more day， but the caretaker came early that fine sunny morning。
他們又待了一天。但是在那個陽光明媚的早晨，看管人來了。
She wanted to open the windows in the bedrooms， which she did not usually do， and opened their bedroom door。
她想把臥室的窗戶開啟——她平時不經常這麼做——就打開了他們臥室的門。
She saw the young couple lying in the big bed， fast asleep， and hurried away to tell her neighbors。
她看到這對年輕的夫婦躺在那張大床上，酣睡著，就趕緊去告訴她的鄰居們。
Tess and Angel woke soon after and decided to leave immediately。 They dared not stay any longer。 When they were in the woods Tess turned to look at the house。
苔絲和安吉爾很快就醒了，決定立即離開。他們不敢再多停留一會兒。他們到了樹林裡，苔絲回頭看了看那幢房子。
‘So much happiness in that house！’ she whispered。 ‘My life can only be a question of a few weeks。 Why couldn’t we have stayed there？‘
“那座房子裡有那麼多的幸福！”她輕聲說道，“我的性命也不過是幾個星期的事情了，為什麼我們不能留在那兒？”
’Don‘t say that， Tess！ We’ll go northwards and get to a port。 They won‘t find us。’
“別這麼說，苔絲！我們朝北走，到達一個港口，他們不會找到我們的。”
They kept going all day and most of the night， passing the cathedral city of Melchester and reaching open land。
他們趕了整整一個白天和幾乎整個晚上的路程，經過了教堂城市梅爾切斯特，到了一片開闊的平原。
It was a windy， cloudy night。 They walked on grass， so as not to make any noise on the road。 They were alone and in darkness。
這是一個多雲、有風的夜晚。他們為了避免在路上發出任何聲響，就在草地上走。黑暗中只有他們兩個人。
Suddenly， Clare almost bumped into a great stone rising up in front of him。
突然，安吉爾幾乎猛地撞上了一塊豎在他面前的巨石。
Moving forwards carefully， they found other stones， standing tall and black against the night sky。
他們小心翼翼地朝前移動著，又發現了其他石頭，在夜晚的蒼穹下，高高地、黑黑地矗立著。
‘What on earth is this place？’ Clare asked。
“這到底是什麼地方？”克萊爾問。
‘Listen！’ cried Tess。
“聽！”苔絲叫道。
The wind， playing on the huge stones， produced a strange tune， like the notes of a great harp。 The couple walked slowly into the middle of the great circle of stones。
風在這些巨石上彈奏著，發出一種奇怪的音調，就像一架巨大的豎琴演奏出的樂章。這兩個人慢慢地走到了這些石頭環繞著的一個大圓圈的中央。
‘It’s Stonehenge！‘ cried Clare。
“這是巨石陣！”克萊爾叫道。
’The pagan temple？‘
“異教徒神廟？”
’Yes。 Older than the centuries； Older than the d‘Urbervilles！’
“是的，比世紀還要古老，比德伯家族還要古老！”
‘Let’s stay here tonight， Angel，‘ said Tess， lying down on a flat stone which was still warm from the day’s sunshine。
“安吉爾，我們今晚就待在這兒吧！”苔絲說著，躺在了一塊平坦的石頭上，石頭還留有白天日照時吸收的餘溫。
‘We’d better not。 This place can be seen for miles in daylight。‘
“最好不要。白天，幾英里外都能看見這個地方！”
’I feel at home here，‘ murmured Tess。 ’You used to say at Talbothays that I was a pagan， do you remember？‘
“在這兒我覺得很自在，”苔絲低聲說，“你過去在塔爾勃塞常常說我是個異教徒，你記起來了嗎？”
He bent over her and kissed her。
他俯下身，親吻她。
’Sleepy， are you， dearest？‘
“親愛的，困了，是嗎？”
’I love it here，‘ she said。 ’I have been so happy with you。 And here I have only the sky above my face。 There is nobody in the world except us two。‘
“我喜歡這兒，”她說，“和你在一起，我是這麼幸福。在這兒，我的上方只有天空，在這個世界裡，只有我們兩個人。”
Clare thought she could rest a while here。 He put his coat over her and lay down beside her。
克萊爾心想，她可以在這兒休息一會兒，他把自己的外套蓋在她的身上，在她身邊躺了下來。
’Angel，‘ she asked presently， as they listened to the wind among the stones， ’if anything happens to me， will you take care of Liza-Lu？‘
“安吉爾，”後來，在他們傾聽著石頭之間的風聲對她問道，“如果我有什麼不測，你願意照顧麗莎-露嗎？”
’I will。‘
“我願意。”
She is so good and pure。 Oh， Angel， I wish you would marry her if you lose me， as you will do soon， If I lose you， I lose everything。’
“她是那麼賢惠純潔，哦，安吉爾，如果你失去我——你不久就會失去我的，我希望你能娶她。”“如果我失去你，我就失去了一切。”
‘She has all the best of me without my bad side， and if she were yours， it would almost seem as if we were not separated by death。 Well， I won’t mention it again。‘
“她具有一切我最好的東西，卻沒有我壞的一面。如果她屬於你了，那麼幾乎就好像死亡沒把我們分開一樣。好了，我不再提它了。”
There was silence for a while。 Angel could see the first light in the east。 They had not much time。
有一會兒，他們都默不作聲。安吉爾能看到東方亮起了第一道曙光。他們沒有多少時間了。
’Did they sacrifice to God here？‘ she asked
“他們是在這兒祭獻上帝嗎？”她問。
’No， to the sun。‘
“不，祭獻太陽。”
’That reminds me， dear。 Tell me， do you think we shall meet again after we are dead？ I want to know。
“這倒提醒我了，親愛的，告訴我，你認為我們死後還會相遇嗎？我想知道。”
He kissed her to avoid replying。
他吻她，想避開這個問題。
‘Oh Angel， that means no！’ she almost sobbed。 ‘And I so wanted to see you again-so much， so much！ Not even you and I， Angel， who love each other so much？’
“哦，安吉爾，那就是說不能！”她幾乎要哭了。“我是那麼地想要再見到你——那麼強烈，那麼強烈！安吉爾，連你和我，兩個愛得這麼深的人都不能嗎？”
He could not answer。 Soon she fell asleep on the stone of sacrifice The night wind died away， and the stones looked black in the half-light。
他無法回答，很快，她在那塊祭禮石上睡著了。夜裡的風漸漸消逝了，從濛濛的光線中，那些石頭看起來黑乎乎的。
Something seemed to move in the distance。 It was a figure approaching Stonehenge。 Clare wished they had gone on， but it was too late。
遠處，像是有什麼東西在移動。是一個朝巨石陣靠近的身影。克萊爾真希望他們已經上路了，可是太晚了。
He turned and saw another and another。 They were uniformed men， closing in on Tess with slow purposeful steps。 Clare jumped up wildly， looking around for a way to escape。
他轉過頭，看到了另外一個人，還有一個。這些穿著制服的人，有目的地緩緩地向苔絲靠近。克萊爾瘋狂地跳了起來，環顧四周，想找條逃脫的路。
‘It’s no use， sir，‘ said the nearest policeman。 ’We‘ve surrounded the place。’
“這沒用，先生。”離得最近的那個警察說，“我們已經包圍了這個地方。”
‘Let her finish her sleep！’ he begged in a whisper， as the men gathered around the stone。 He held her hand。
“讓她睡完覺吧！”當警察們聚集到石頭周圍時，他低聲請求道。他抓住她的手，
She was breathing more like a trapped animal than a woman。 All waited in the growing light， their faces and hands silver， the stones grey。 When the light was strong， she awoke。
她的呼吸更像一隻落入陷阱的動物發出的，而不是一個女人發出的。所有的人都在越來越明亮的曙光中等待著，他們的臉和手成了銀白色的，石塊是灰色的。當光線強烈起來時，她醒了。
‘What is it， Angel？’ she said， sitting up。 ‘Have they come for me？’
“什麼事呀，安吉爾？”她說著，坐了起來。“他們來找我了嗎？”
‘Yes， dearest， they have。’
“是的，寶貝，他們來了。”
‘That is right。 I am almost glad。 This happiness could not have lasted！’
“那就對了。我簡直感到很高興，這種幸福本來就不可能持久。”
She stood up and went towards the waiting men。 ‘I am ready，’ she said quietly。
她站了起來，朝那些等候的警察走去，“我準備好了。”她平靜地說。
One July morning the sun shone on two figures climbing the hill leading out of the fine city of Wintoncester。
7月的一個早晨，在一座從美好的溫頓塞斯特城延伸出來的小山上，陽光正照耀在兩個爬山人的身上。
They were young but they walked bent in sorrow。 One was Angel Clare， the other Tess‘s younger sister， Liza-Lu。 Hand in hand， with pale， tear-stained faces， they walked in silence。
他們很年輕，但是因悲痛而伏下身去走著。一位是安吉爾·克萊爾，另一位是苔絲的妹妹，麗莎-露，他們手牽著手，臉色蒼白，淚痕滿面地默默前行。
When they reached the top of the hill， they heard the town clocks strike eight。 They turned quickly and looked back at the city。
當他們到達山頂時，他們聽到教區的鐘聲敲打了八下。他們迅速轉身，眺望著這個城市。
They could see the cathedral， the college， and the prison very clearly。 A tall post was fixed to the prison tower。
他們可以清楚地看到教堂、大學，還有監獄。一根高高的旗杆豎立在監獄塔樓上方。
A few minutes after eight， as they watched， a black flag moved slowly up the post。
8點過了幾分，他們看到一面黑旗緩緩升上旗杆。
The gods had finished playing with Tess。 Society had seen ’justice‘ done。 Her d’Urberville ancestors slept on in their tombs，uncaring。
神明對苔絲的戲弄就此告終了，世人看到正義得到了伸張。她的德伯祖先沉睡在他們的墳墓中，漠不關心。
The two silent watchers dropped to the ground and stayed there without moving for a long time。
兩位沉默的觀眾跌倒在了地上，久久地沒有動彈。
The flag waved in the wind。 As soon as they had strength， they stood up， joined hands again， and continued slowly on their way。
旗子在風中飄展著。一有了力氣，他們就站了起來，重新手挽著手，繼續慢慢地走上了他們的路程。
《苔絲》是英國文學巨匠托馬斯·哈代最負盛名的長篇代表作，也是“威塞克斯系列”中的一部。苔絲出生於一個貧窮的農民家庭，她純潔、美麗，是古老爵士世家的後裔。在父母的安排下，不諳世事的苔絲為了全家的生計去“攀親”，不料卻被紈絝的“堂兄”亞雷克·德伯維爾誘姦。倔強的苔絲不願作亞雷克的情婦回到了家中，但回村後她漸漸受到全村人的非議，生下的孩子不久也夭折了，悲傷的苔絲選擇離開家鄉，去一個陌生的牛奶廠做女工。在這裡，她遇上了畢生的摯愛克萊爾。克萊爾像一束溫暖的陽光照亮了她年輕的生命，但苔絲又因過往而自卑，痛苦不堪。後來在新婚之夜，苔絲終於鼓起勇氣向克萊爾坦白了一切，卻由此陷入無盡的黑暗之中……